Cant Stop

For a while i thought “Forever” was gonna be my last post…you know….nothing is forever, and neither was this blog. I thought it was a nice way to wrap all these years up…but life goes on.

Somehow i need to express myself out loud. I just need to keep on with it as a way to clear things up. That was the original purpose of this blog. I’ve kept my word on “the rules” i set myself, and only wrote whenever i felt like. And now im back on feeling like writing things.

I guess i had long rest period. Life has been so intense that if i stopped to write about it, i was afraid i was gonna miss some of it. And i didnt want to.

Work has been keeping myself busy. My goals (yep, i do set some goals at the beginning of the year) are going on quite well and im living just as i want.

The only “problem” i have now is that I achieved some of my expectations. As someone said, “becareful of what you wish for, because it might come true”. And i am seeing every day how i am step by step getting to the goals i set. And its a bit scary.

I cannot let fear be a part of my life. Cannot let myself hold up on whatever i want to do just because im afraid of something. Something that might happen…Preocupations cannot set my schedule and i gotta live life to the fullest. All days, every single day. That’s what i’ve been repeating myself over and over these past few days.

Nothing is stopping me from getting where i want, where i set my goals…so why would I? Why would i set myself boundaries not to achieve what i want? Why would i not let myself be happy?

One is always a bit…i cannot find the word. Is not unsatisfied, but “100% happy”. One can always imagine a better situation. Even if one won the lottery, he would still be worried for the money at some level.

I’ve got everything i can imagine in almost every aspect of my life now, and i cannot seem to let go this unsatisfaction feeling. Why am i holding on to it?

I guess im a bit scared everything is perfect and things can only go down from here. Could i keep on climbing up? Is this it? Is there more i could ask for?…

The feeling of losing it all, the sensation of speed…things are getting out of control now, and i cannot handle so much happiness <- Wtf??

Anyways, im over-happy (if this word exists), and i gotta go back to find the balance in my life.

Life goes on and smiling too much is making my mouth muscles soar. I need to balance it all up.