When thoughts and feelings interact

I havent spent much time lately at home. I’ve been travelling here and there, working, on vacation, alone and with people.

I love to travel, i like to move and the feeling of not remaining still in the same place for long. And now i got it. I’ve travelled more than half of this month here and there without actually planning it as i’d had done it with a vacation. This was more like jumping from one place to another without previous notice.

Every 2 days, i got a call that i needed to go somewhere else. I know i will be travelling more this way in the near future and i think i’ll like it. I think im ready for it. Unknown destinies to do unknown activities. Unexpected.

Plans change on the run. One day im here and maybe in 3 days i’ll be somewhere else. Maybe not. For example, i know i will be going to Valencia next monday and sometime next week, i’ll have to go to Bilbao, but still dont know when exactly or for how long. Barcelona, maybe Sevilla…

It’s kinda hard sometimes to make my own plans like going to the doctor or expediting my new id card. I have to make time to handle my own personal life too. In a way, i know i can live like this because i have no attachments, no bonds and no deep  social responsabilities like a wife or children, or so i want to think. How long will this last?

But the main thing is that i move. I travel. I change. This gives me enormous pleasure because of the sensation of self awareness i have to be in almost all the time. It keeps me awake and ready. Sometimes it gets a bit hard, but most of the times, i do enjoy this way of living.  It makes me overanalize sometimes about certain things, sometimes i dont even have time before the next big thing happens…Its strange, but living every moment as a unique present event makes me reconsider many things in just a few seconds. So much information every second…processing everything is sometimes hard and tiring because different thoughts, feelings and activities come together at the very same moment.

When so many things happen in one’s life, they tend to mix and interact, but i try to keep them separated and dont let one thought interfere with another, in the sense that for example, if i got sad or annoyed because i didnt finish the work as well as i wanted, this feeling cannot condition me on how i talk with my friends or whatever other activity comes next.

I try to go with the flow, enjoy the moment as it happens and try to forget it before the next one starts. Avoid thinking about the past or try not to especulate about the future. This is not always easy and im not always able to control it, but  i try my best to keep my mental health.  I cannot let myself mix my feelings between different thougths when they are not in related activities.

Anyways, i gotta get ready to enjoy some good time at the cinema now