Crystal clear

This post is a follow up of the one i did before. I have started walking in this direction not so long ago and i want to figure out where will this path take me and whether it’ll get me any closer to my goal in this life or not.

The point i want to make in this post is that sometimes people talk and talk about things without making any clear statement about what they’re really talking about, and this can become a barrier of communication sometimes. I’ve seen this a lot in business and also in human relations. I do it too sometimes: Not to give a clear response to what I think about a subject because it might be too raw, too cruel or as people say sometimes “politically incorrect”.

This type of direct questions and answers i’m refering to cannot be put into practice just with anyone, because of the society we live in and how it is structured. We (and i include myself in all this thought) tend to tell white lies sometimes or unclear answers not to be too rude or sound too cruel sometimes. Not to define what we really and trully want to say. This leads to misunderstandings and unconfortable situations in the future that could had been avoided if another speech had been used at the right time.

I’m talking about being crystal clear about what one thinks or says when talking about a subject. Im not saying everything has to be white or black, yes or no. I believe there is a rainbow of different answers one can choose from depending of his way of looking at the world. Depending on one’s reality a situation can be one way or the other, but there is always an accurate way to define it.

There are times when it’s better to call a thing or a situation by it’s name. No double meanings or fuzzy answers. A crystal clear speech. If for example, you have a bottle of milk in your hands and someone asks you about what you are holding, an accurate answer would be “a bottle of milk”. No doubts about it. No possible way of misunderstanding. If on the other hand you say “something white that i like to drink”. Still is an answer but it leads to confusion and not knowing what one is really holding. Im not saying this is not a good answer. Im just saying that there is a much simple way to answer the question, also correct, that is more precise and leaves no place for wrong interpretations. It’s simple, does the work and also saves time.

The majority of situations in life are much more complicated than holding a bottle of milk i know, but there is always a way to find the exact words to describe what the situation is, how did one got there and what should one do afterwards. A simple way to describe facts. A direct and honest way to describe the reality around oneself that leaves no doubt about where one stands.

Im starting to apply this to my own thoughts and behaviours with myself and those around me.

Shared Love

Once i was asked this question:

Can a person be in love with 2 others at the same time?  My answer at that time was maybe, but now i think it is not possible. There can only be just one at a time. One can like very much many people, but only love one at a time.

This is just a starting point of what i want to think about today: relationships and respect. Why do people cheat on their couples? I dont get it. I can understand when one person cheats on another once or even twice during a long period relationship. The persons, the circumstances…i can take all that shit that people say to take their responsability away and keep their concious clean. But what i cant stand is people who constantly cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend. What`s the point of it? i really cannot understand this behaviour.

It gets on my nerves when i see that and i totally lose the respect for these people. Why would one cheat on his/her couple and still be together? How can they stand staying together? How can they keep on talking to them without avoiding not looking straight to the eyes, knowing what they`ve done? Why dont they just break up?

One has to be a heartless coward not to break up. To do the right thing and stop lying to oneself and the others. Be brave enough to quit and let the other go. Dont get me wrong. I have no problems at all with promiscuous people. I just dont like promiscuous people who are in a relationship with another.

Whats the point of sleeping with others and keep on being with another person? Security? A feeling of acceptance? A way not to feel alone?

The few times i have been in relationships i`ve never cheated. Im not saying i wouldnt in the future, i can not know that now. But one thing is for sure: if i cheated continuously to my couple, i would break up inmediately because i couldnt stand the situation. it would be ridiculous from my point of view to pretend im in love with someone if my actions wouldnt follow my words.

If i am with someone, it`s because i think i`ll be better than by myself. Maybe that`s one of the reasons why i havent had so many relations, because i am very confortable with myself in general and my way of life and beating that is pretty difficult. The person would have to be damn good to change my　lifestyle and make it better. Make me feel so special that i wouldnt care changing my way of living. A person worth my attention, time and effort…and would i cheat on that person if i really respected her? if i really loved her? I dont think so.

If i am with someone, she has to complete me in a way. I wouldnt be with someone just to be in company and not feel alone. If i needed company, i would get a friend, not a couple. They`re different things.　People that are in a relationship just not to be alone and not to feel lonely should break up today and start living a life by themselves. Getting to know themselves, understanding their emotions and being alright with who they are and how they are first. And then get into a relationship if thats really what they want.

If you`re gonna be with someone because of any reason, respect yourself and the other and dont cheat. And if you`re gonna do it, its better to break up, be free and as promiscuous as you can be. It`ll be better for everyone and specially for you since you will be free to do as you please, wont have to regret anything, have second thoughts or feel bad about anything  you do or dont with whomever you feel like.

Well, to sum up and wrap up this thought: Be consequent with yourself. If you`re with someone because you want to, stay with that someone. If not, just dont get involved and remain free.