Sweet

I have to admit i’m living a sweet moment in my life these days. Yes, there are ups and downs, some dissapointments here and there, but on the overall, i can honestly say my life is better than 6 months ago. Much better.

I “finally” found a place to call home. I place where i feel safe and confortable. A housemate with whom i share similar interests and many points of view. Still we are quite different, so there are many things to talk about. This keeps things alive. This and the people who are coming and going in and out all the time.

Yesterday we had no guests and it felt like a strange situation since we’ve been having people at home everyday for the past month or so. Always someone new, always something different to do…

So i spent the evening sitting alone in the terrace, looking at the parks of the neighborhood, enjoing the sunset and the last good days of summer. I was calmed and thought about how my life was and i had to admit i was living a sweet moment in my life these days.

Quote

Yesterday is but a dream

and tomorrow is only a vision

but today well lived

makes every yesterday a dream of happiness

and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Truth that hurts

Would you rather live happy without knowing the reality around you or would you want to know it even if it hurts you?

It depends on my state of mind. In general i rather know that not know no matter how hard/shocking that reality might be. I think i can take almost anything.

Sometimes i think knowing something wont do me any good and its rather better to not know it, but if after a while i end up knowing it, i feel stupid for having lived in a lie. A happy person that didnt know what was going on around him. I find it rather sad.

I dont think that getting hurt for knowing something is bad. I rather live unhappy in truth than happy in lies. In general i think that the more you know, the closer you are to your reality, and the decisions you make will be more coherent with the real reality.

But what is reality? Is the world like it is or is it how we see it? What part do we see? Why do we see that and not another one? How do we shape our world? Can knowing all the possible facts help you make the right choices? What is the goal here?: Being happy or being happy accepting the reality around oneself?

I think anyone can be happy. You could be more or less happy depending on your acceptance with what’s around you. Happiness start right after sadness. If i could put those two feelings in a straight line, sadness would go from one side of the line, where the “value” of the feeling would be at its max, and then decreasing until a very small amount of sadness. Then a small amount of happiness would come and would keep on rising until complete happiness.

I think anyone can be happy. It just depends on where one is in this line from 100% sad to 100% happy. I want to be close to the 100% happy side, and one of the things i consider the most important is knowing the facts. The truth. The reality as raw as possible. If one can be happy knowing and accepting the reality as it its, without lying to oneself, without making up side stories to give more sense to the parts that dont match with one’s view of the world, then i think that one person is close to complete happiness. A complete acceptance of facts, being truly ok with them, understanding them and sharing them with others.

I cannot say that today i am as happy as i could be. I still have some stories running around my mind these days to cheat myself, making some time for myself until i can accept the reality that is happening to me as I write these lines.

I need some time to cope with the lies i’ve been telling myself lately and accept the reality as it really is and not as i’d like it to be.

The best things in life are free

This was part of the lyrics of a song i heard on the radio.  I heard it and started thinking about it, and somehow i agree, but partially.  I believe the best things in life are the moments you live with or without people. To get to these moments, to build up the perfect situation, timing is a must, but some money too. Not much, but some. At the end, the best moments have a little extra something that cannot be paid with money.

Is like the mastercard commercial. You can buy stuff and do things or go to places, but the best moments are something one can’t buy. Its a sensation. When you find yourself into ithem, you say to yourself “Shit, i love this”

This weekend i went surfing to the north of spain. Well, surfing might sound like i actually KNEW how to do it, but it was my first contact with a surf board, so i pretty much struggled to get the waves… I went camping with some people and also met some others. One night we were having a barbecue, all together, having so much fun…one of those moments-to-remember happened. I think we were all synchronized. Very good mood, doing whatever we felt like, when we felt like…the perfect people in the perfect place…freedom of will.

The night was great, the camping was by the sea, cooking under the stars…just perfect. I thought about the situation for a moment and said to myself this couldnt get any better. I will definedly remember it for quite a while.

So, this might be too risky to ask, but i’d like to hear from you people who are reading this post if any of these moments have happened to you lately. It might be going out with your friends, or just sitting in the backyard doing nothing…i dont know. But it would find it very nice if you could share a little bit of your thought with me.

The glass bottle

Here goes a story i read today. It made an impression on me and I want to share with you:

A teacher in front of his philosophy class, without saying a word, took a big glass bottle and filled it up with golf balls. Afterwards he ask the students if they thought the bottle was full to which they said yes. The teacher took a box full of beads and emptied in the bottle. The beads filled up the spaces between the golf balls. The teacher asked again his students if the bottle was full, and they said yes again.

After he had done this, he took another box, this time full of sand, and again, he poored it inside the bottle. The sand filled up the remaining spaces between the golf balls and the beads. He asked again to his students if they thought the bottle was full, and they answered ‘YES’. At the end, he took to cups of coffee and emptied them inside the bottle while the students started laughing.

When the laugh stopped, the teacher said:

‘I want you to take a close look to the bottle. It represents life. The golf balls are the important things in life such as your family, kids, health, friends, love, things that you are passionate about. They are things that, even if you lost the rest and you only that them, your life would still be full. The beads represent the rest of things in life that are important like work, the house, the car…and the sand is the little things’

‘If we filled up the bottle with the sand first, there would be no place left for the beads nor for the golf balls. The same thing happens in life. If we spent all our time and energy in little things, we would never have place for the real important things. Pay attention to the things that are more important for your happiness. Go out to dinner with your couple, play with your kids, give yourself time to go to the doctor, do some sport, enjoy your hobbies…’

‘There will always be time to clean the house, to repair the water tub. Take care of the golf balls first, take care of the real important things. Make yourself a list of priorities, because the rest is just sand’

One of the students raised up his hand and asked what did the coffee represent. The teacher smiled and said:

‘Im very happy that you ask me that!. The coffee is just to show you that even when you think your life is completly full, there is always a place to take 2 cups of coffee with a friend’

Hosting a stranger

Its been already 2 months since i moved in to a my house with my friend Rafa. The first one i pretty much spent it on settling down my stuff, making myself at home. After we had the house almost set, we started hosting people from CS and HC. Its a very good idea to bring people with a common interest: Travelling.

The guests get a place to rest and leave their stuff while visiting a city and also a first hand look at the culture through his host. He/she gets a different perspective of the country. I think its much better than just buying a travel book and walking by yourself. The first benefit for the guest is quite obvious: It’s cheaper to stay in a house than renting a flat or staying in a hotel. For me, there is a better benefit with more value than just to save some euros: Interact with other people and share their way of living and thinking.

On the other hand, i was asking myself about the benefits of the hosts. Why would anyone would let a total stranger into his/her house. How can people trust a stranger and open the doors of his/house wide open? Why would people do something like this? What’s in it for them?

I thought about it last weekend. What’s in it for me? How can I trust a person just by reading a few lines in a brief email sent a couple of days earlier or even the same day? Some people have told me it’s dangerous, that i could get stolen, that i could have problems…but i still do it ‘cos i disagree.

What’s in it for me?: Experiences. I love listening to stories of travellers. I like anecdotes and short stories every traveller has experienced in his/her journey. I enjoy being around people with an attitude to discover new stuff, looking for adventure and not afraid of trying new stuff. That’s what travelling is all about for me: Trying new stuff for the first time: Food, tools, ways of doing things…there are so many ways to do the same stuff, one must be the best for you. You listen to their stories, you try “their way” of doing things…You take it or leave it as you wish. You build yourself as you wish.

One cant always be travelling the whole time and letting travellers into your life is another way to travel without moving. You get the first hand experience of someone who has lived what he’s telling. You listen to the main character of the story and not “a friend of a friend of this person i know once went to…”.

The stories are so interesting sometimes it would sound like a lie if it wasnt because you trust the person who is telling the story.

I love storytellers. I like travellers because of what they have lived, what they have to share and what they expect out of the trip.

So to sum up: Why do i like hosting people? What do i get?

Stories, life experiences and sometimes an everlasting friendship.

Nightmare

Its 2h28 and im up. I just had a nightmare.

I woke up with my own voice crying “HELP”.

Its very strange,  but it has happened. I cant remember when was the last time i had one. Maybe 3-5 years ago…i dont know. As any dream/nightmare, it was an apparently random series of events that ended up with me in a hotel, opening the manager’s office door in front of the reception, trying to get the people’s attention because i saw a man that just stabbed another person.

It all started at home, we were hosting 5 or 6 people, but when were talking with them, suddenly they were like 12 french. I started to wonder why there were so many and they were people that just showed up without saying anything in advance. It was already 2 am and we couldnt just let them out, so we told them they could stay but just 1 night. Things started to get a bit out of control.

Then, i had to go somewhere with the car, and a woman got into the backseat. She was talking the whole time with her cell phone, and when we got to this hotel, i realized she jumped in because she though i was driving a taxi… but my car was black. She left the car while talking and i thought…nevermind, it’s on the way i was going.

Then i had to pick up a friend from the hotel. Got into the parking with the car and tried to look for the entrance. I stepped out and walked around. Somehow it looked familiar. It wasnt the first time i was there. There were some strange luggage carts hanging from the ceiling and i jumped into one of them, playing around. Then i realised it was not the way i was supposed to go, and i went back to the car.

The car was parked in a different position. It had all the doors open. The back of the car was different. It was a different car, but looked very similar to mine. Out of the darkenss of the parking, i could see a man, sittin in the back trunk of his car, facing the wall and sitting still. I got into the car and closed 2 doors. On the back seat there was a huge ball of plastic tape. I took it and thew it away, telling the man it wasnt mine. Started driving and closed the rest of the doors.

Then a scene of someone putting a paper sheet on the driver’s seat, under the thing were you rest your head. The paper had a date and it was used to take the sweat of whoever was driving for some reason. Somebody had changed the papers and the dates were not right. “Not good. Something’s wrong here and i’m about to figure it out i thoght”

In the next flash, i was walking along a corridor inside the hotel. Between the people in the hall, i could recognize the woman who jumped into my car. She was looking herself at the mirror. She had long black hair. I started to feel unconfortable. A had a weird sensation. I was looking for my friend but i couldnt find him. I looked to the right and there was the hotel reception. Then looked to the left and there was an office with the door slightly open. I could see a man sitting on a chair, but not completly, so i pushed the door to get in. The man was sitting with his arms hanging loose and his head on the table. He’s dead i thought. Then, i looked up and next to him there was another man. He was dressed with a black suit, as if he was with the hotel uniform. He had just finished putting down the other man’s head on the table. I was surprised and started walking backwards. I tried to call for help, but my voice wouldnt come out. I tried again harder, shouting for help. And no sound came out of my throat. I tried a third time, and finaly, a weak “Help” came out.

I woke up hearing myself shouting “help”, and i was shocked. I had to go out to the terrace and drink some water to calm down. The night was still and the only sound was the repetitive song of the crickets. All was in complete quiet. I was trying to analize the dream and why i dreamt what i dreamt. I figured some stuff out from what’s happening in my life, and for what i have to do, but the end of the nightmare keeps me wondering. And the wondering keeps me awake. It’s 2h53 and i should go back to sleep.

All these thoughts, all this situations without apparent conetion makes me feel as if i was watching some David Lynch’s movie like mulholand drive. I didnt get the ending and kept me wondering for a while…

Im tired. I better get back to bed.