Cycles

Life is nothing but a continuous cycle of behaviours that experience changes over the years. Let me explain:

There are cycles in everyone’s lives. Routines. Behaviour patterns. Active periods, resting periods, times when you want to sit and relax and times when you just want to experience extreme emotions. Some cycles are short, some are longer. There is normally a relation between age and behaviour, but is not always like this.

In a, let’s say 10 years time, one can be very active, then go through a period of calm and then back again to active. Or maybe get into a certain state and remain in it forever. The combinations and possibilities are enormous.

I consider myself a rather active person. I like to do stuff, enjoy life, go out, make the most of my time, experience different activities and learn as much as i can from them. And there are times when all i want to do is rest. Take a step to the side, relax, give myself time to think, to plan, to take a look around and see what’s happening. I’d say its a way to double check if what i’m doing makes sense with where i’m at and where i want to go. If the direction i’ve taken seems like the good one or if im just going in the opposite direction.

Its a way to see myself from outside and together in the big picture, how i fit in the whole, where i stand in the puzzle, what else do i need to get to where i want to go or if the place i want to go is still in the same direction. A time to think about my needs and hopes. Do i still want what i thought i wanted when i started the journey back some time ago? Am i following the right path? Is this the way to reach it? How could i make the way in a different way? Do i want a different way?…

I think i’ve just finished a very active period. My social life required it. Somehow. I needed to go out and have fun, drink, sleep as less as possible and stay awake and alert about the things and the people around me. I’m now starting to feel different. I dont feel like going out as much as i did before. It doesnt fulfill me as it did. Im not saying it was bad, but my state of mind has changed. I rather get a good rest now and enjoy life in a different way. It is still intense, but in a different way. I do as much as i want, i keep on doing what i like when i like and if i feel like. Or at least that’s what i want to think.

Still the same person. Evolved. See, that’s just a contradiction in itself. How can i have evolved and stay the same?…maybe the person who said “keep on walking to remain in the same place” was actually right. The main point out of all this is that i feel alive, i do as i please, i dont ask for more and i dont feel i need more than what i have now. I have more than i can enjoy. Expectations are high and future lies ahead full of good times, people to be discovered, places to be found and experiences to be lived. Just like always.