Maybe…

I’ve been giving it a thought and i’ve come to the conclusion that the reason I feel this way is because I want to and in a way, I chose to.

One of the main reasons why i’m not feeling good is because of my housemates. I know it’s a bad thing to talk about others, but i’ve been holding myself too much now and I have to say it out loud or i’ll die: My housemates this year suck.

They’re great people. Really. But when they are together…they get into this “we’re a couple and do everything together” mood. That sucks and i always feel out of the way.
I know they dont give a fuck about anyone except from each other, which is great in a way. Love is a great thing. But there is a limit.

I guess I dont want to become that way and that’s why i rather be alone. The fear of becoming a complete asshole backs me up from getting into a serious relation with anyone. I really dont feel like sharing and living my life with just one other person. At least not now nor in the near future.

I know i have set myself high standards for the people I want to spend my time with. Not talking about just girls here. My thought is: Hey, if I wanna spend time with someone, it’s gonna be because i want to. Free will. And If i’m not confortable with someone, i’d rather stay alone.

I am alone because I want to and I chose to be this way. Being alone is not an issue, but feeling is.

I’ll work on that last thought.